When my children were born – both by Caesarean section – the obstetrician first raised them for a picture by dad before they were taken away, cleaned up and brought back for a second photograph with both parents before heading off to the nursery.
If I’d been asked if I would have liked to have held them, I probably would have said no. Both times I was shaking uncontrollably – either from the cold theatre or drugs that kept me from feeling any of the pain of “childbirth”.
In the days that passed, I would visit the nursery and was often taken aback by the tiny, sometimes startled, crying babies in the incubators. “That one’s just been born,” the nurses would say.
When I look back at those events and in particular at the pictures of my own children as they first appeared out of the womb and into the world, I see the shock.
If I could go back to those moments, I would take them in my arms and at least try to shield them from the sensory overload that they were exposed to after leaving the safety of my womb.
So last week, when I met Teresa Bekker, unit manager at the neonatal ICU and maternity ward, at the pristine and newly built Life Hilton Private Hospital, I had to do my best to hold back an emotional tirade, as she explained the virtues of keeping mom and baby together after birth.
Bekker, who has set up other neo-natal clinics around the family-centred concept of couplet care in South Africa is championing the philosophy on childbirth at Hilton.
Essentially this means keeping mom and baby together right from the start.
The pair, while in hospital, remain in close physical contact which promotes bonding and facilitates breast feeding.
Bekker says it’s an about-turn for hospital maternity wards, but is a move in the right direction.
“At hospitals we are all about protocol and policy,” she explains. “It’s all very medical and sometimes mom and baby get lost in the process.
“The day you have a child is one of your most memorable. It’s an important life event for the family unit which is why we should do our best to prioritise them.”
Bekker says the research and evidence from their own experience at the hospital suggests that giving mom her baby straight after delivery, and including dad and siblings in the process, is beneficial.
“Irrespective of natural birth or C-section, the baby – as soon as it is born – is placed on mom’s chest.
“We put a little beanie on the baby’s head and the nurses and doctors do what they have to while the baby is with mom.
“The reality is that when the baby is taken away, he or she is often hungry and gets given a top-up feed from a bottle. Couplet care therefore ensures greater success with breast feeding.
“We’ve also found that baby normalises much quicker thanks to being skin-to-skin (also called kangaroo care) with mom. Heart rate, respiratory and glucose levels all settle faster and we see calmer babies.”
Bekker is proud of the way in which she runs her ward.
“Gone are the days of keeping healthy babies in the nursery. They room-in with mom. To create a conducive environment, all the rooms in our maternity unit are private and include a warmer called a lullaby which helps mimic the warmth of a conventional hospital nursery.
“While mom is resting after the birth, dad (with assistance if required) gives the first bath and the baby is placed on his chest so they have some bonding time too.”
Bekker says the more family-centred approach leads to confident parenting and secure, less helpless babies.
This resonates with me as a parent.
She says a baby or child that feels torn away from mom will fear separation and will be clingy or dependent; while a baby that is comforted and kept close is secure and grows to be independent.
Another important aspect of Bekker’s approach is the inclusion of siblings.
“Often small children are not allowed to visit, for fear of infection and this can create jealousy and rivalry,” she says. “If the baby’s older sibling has been to crèche we ask that he or she is bathed before a visit.
“We ask that mom has a gift from the baby to their sibling. This will help them feel appreciation and love for the new addition to the family.
“We also make an effort to include the child in the hospital experience. So we may let a toddler or pre-schooler dress up in scrubs and go into the nursery. This changes everything and as nursing staff we enjoy watching little chests swell up at the joy of being a part of the arrival of a new brother or sister.”
Bekker says her guiding principle is to include the family who the baby will see daily into those first few days of his or her life.
Of the industry, she says small changes, mainly in attitude, can have successful outcomes.
What’s interesting for me is that couplet care is considered by many to be unconventional even though it’s more in line with the natural order of things than the current norm.
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